The Heart Knows

 

I was having a very insightful discussion with someone about a man who is in the process of courting a woman. He was somewhat unclear about his intentions. He might not be sure about what he feels or that he needs more time to know Gods will, yet he is letting the sister feel his love towards her. Obviously these are “moves” that are beyond what we call “friendship”.

We can say the boundary had been crossed. Emotions had been invested and turning back will only cause pain. This pain, is the pain of the unknown and of the “what if”. The sister may feel at a loss not knowing what’s really the intention of the brother. He makes some sketchy moves and yet he does not categorically say he loves her. He is on the fishing mode! On the other hand, the brother is being tortured by the fact that he is facing a crossroad where he needs to decide where to go and what to do. This might not be easy, the “what if” comes in, but courage is needed.

When this situation occurs both has to do something. The brother should summon all his courage to categorically say his intention and be ready whatever the answer, may it be yes, no or wait for further notice.  If the brother is still very sketchy and still not being clear, then the sister has to step up and ask with clarity, “What is it really that you want from me? You are doing this and that, and I’m left confused. I want a real and honest relationship. So if you are not man enough to state your real intention, then stop what you are doing because I don’t want to go on a roadless destination.”

We have to take note though that before this mess up happened. Both the sister and the brother are both responsible of the situation. The sister allowed the brother to cross the boundary between friendship and intimacy. She then has to control her emotions and be on guard always in order to respect and honor the brother. On the hand, the brother dogged deeper and pursued to the limits. The brother then, has to show some restraint with respect and honor to the vulnerability of the sister. This I think is the best way not to cause unnecessary pain. (You can read by clicking on the link Flirting With Pain and Real Love Waits to understand this further.)

Well, there are so many ways of loving and so many ways to love and be love. What is important is that our heart is anchored on Christ. A heart anchored on Christ knows His ways of loving. By knowing Christ deeper we will know if it is for us or not. The heart knows what the head might not.

The process has to be enjoyed, for the journey is as important as the destination itself. We don’t have to be afraid of the unknown or with the “what if”. Love will always find its way back home to the heart of someone God planned from the beginning. 

by aats