I am Stubborn In The Things I Believe

Ecclesiastes 3:11 say, “He has made everything beautiful in its time. He has also set eternity in the human heart; yet one can fathom what God has done from beginning to end.”

Back in 2013, when the year was about to end, there was so much anticipation as to the announcement of who will be endorsed for fulltime mission. Emotions runs from excitement to anxiety and I felt like moved back again 10 years ago (12 years now) when we were training for fulltime missions. It was the first formal training, so everything I guess was experimental, you can say we were the guinea pigs.  I remember after the training, questions were running into our mind but no one can answer. The thing is we finished the training but there was no word if we did passed or not. We didn’t have exit interview and no one said the definite decision only that they said we would know it soon. We went back to our area with question hanging in our mind, it took almost a year before an official letter came that we indeed passed the training and that we are officially fulltime.

It was funny because I did have some questions, but I guess I was so focused on the mission in my area that even if months had passed, I did not even bothered about that “official letter” thing at all. I felt like with or without it I am a missionary and I was so convicted about it.

Sometimes I wonder am I still that same courageous man who answered the call 12 years ago? With battles fought, I got scarred both in and out. And now, I am even scared at times when a brother or sister say, I want to be fulltime. At the back of my mind, do you really want it? I mean, mission is fun, I never had been so happy in my life than in mission. However, joy does not mean no pain. All these years I will say as the song "Everything In Its Time" written by Corrine May, “There are a thousand reasons why I should give up but I'm stubborn in the things I believe.”

So is this your call? God knows and you know. And in between the fulfillment of that call, we fall in silent adoration to God knowing His will be done always in His time.

Here are the lyrics of that song:

Sometimes I wonder what lies ahead
How long till my hunger is fed
They say it's hard to make it in this part of town
So many people on this merry-go-round

Some folks try astrology
Some turn to crystal balls
To find an answer,
To get through it all
I just fall on my knees and I try to pray
In the silence I can hear Him say

The river runs and the river hides
Out to the ocean and under the sky
I promise you, the answer will come
Hold on to patience and watch for the sign
Everything in its time

I often feel like I'm two steps behind
Somebody must have moved that finish line
There are a thousand reasons
Why I should give up
But I'm stubborn in the things I believe

The river runs and the river hides
Out to the ocean and under the sky
I promise you, the answer will come
Hold on to patience and watch for the sign

'cause maybe there's another plan
One I still can't see
A little surprise, like your love in my life
Funny how time changes how we see

The river runs and the river hides
Out to the ocean and under the sky
I promise you, the answer will come
Hold on to patience and watch for the sign
Everything in its time
Everything in its time

Mission, family, calling, whatever vocation of life, God makes all things beautiful in His time.

by aats